She orders the same thing every time we go get Mexican. Chicken Quesadilla with a sweet tea. She always picks out the same style shirts when we go shopping. She owns an abundance of blue blouses. When we’re drinking, she’s always the first one sleeping. Vodka shots get to her quicker than they…


When you asked me to find somebody for you
I gave you names of girls that I knew
Beautiful ones with olive skin and sly smiles
Dark eyes that matched their hair
And smelled of musk and whispered mysteries in
Your ears

Ones with bright blonde hair that made everyone’s head turn
Like the type of girls you see in the magazines
Red dresses and heels higher than their confidence
And laughter that exploded
And voices that sounded melodic and inviting

Ones that had bright futures and were scholars
That could calculate numbers that I don’t dare to touch
I introduced you girls that liked your favorite sports team
and had things in common with you
That I didn’t
And ones that could offer you things
That I couldn’t

When you asked me to find someone for you
I told you I have tried them all
Jokingly admitting you were too picky
You need to keep your options open
And asked what you looked for in a girl

And you said:
“Someone who dances around the kitchen
to her favorite songs
And highlights the pages of her favorite books
Who eats a bowl of cereal every night before she goes to sleep

Someone who laughs obnoxiously and loudly
Who gets excited about little things
And cares a little too much about what people think about her
Who underestimates herself at the wrong times and was blind enough to think
Someone else was better for me than her.”


sometimes I kiss people I shouldn’t kiss and let them unbutton my jeans sometimes I leave English class without asking and walk in angular circles until I can hear the blood rushing under my skin sometimes I run until I can’t breathe sometimes I sit in the rain sometimes I sleep for six hours in the middle of the day

sometimes I drive too fast and listen to my music so loud that it hurts sometimes I drink until everything goes black and I don’t remember talking about you all night (even though I do)

sometimes I cry about books and about people who died hundreds of years ago sometimes I don’t cry even though I want to more than anything sometimes I ignore the people I love sometimes I hold myself to keep everything in because you are not here to do it

sometimes I think I’m alive sometimes I think I probably never will be